Faith my Eyes

So lately I have been struggling a lot with the concept of faith, particularly my faith. Lately I have been wondering, as is a constant struggle in my life, if my salvation is real or not, if the decision I made a long time ago was the real deal as it were. My prayers every night were for God to give me assurance that all of this, that my faith was real. The other night I prayed that and went to bed. The next morning I woke up and began reading through the Gospel of John, a personal favorite of mine. So I come to the story of the first disciples deciding to follow Jesus.

“The next day again John was standing with two of his disciples, and he looked at Jesus as he walked by and said, “Behold, the Lamb of God!” The two disciples heard him say this, and they followed Jesus.” John 1:35-37

As I was reading this, I was really shocked by the faith of these two disciples. They simply heard John the Baptist say that the Lamb of God was approaching, and they followed Jesus. That’s some pretty impressive faith right there. And then it hit me, faith was the answer.

All this time I had been trying to solve this internal struggle I was having by asking God to do something, when faith was the answer. My faith was obviously; I couldn’t even realize that God was big enough to save me from myself, though I suppose I knew he was, I was not believing that he would do it when I called on him. In all the late nights I stayed awake and struggled with whether it was real or not, I knew that I believed that Jesus came and died for my sins and rose again, but I wasn’t allowing myself to believe that it could be as simple as faith I suppose.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that I am just now coming to faith in Jesus Christ, because I have always had that faith, but I think that as we grow, we need to grow in faith to that God is going to take care of us and protect us from the struggles of life, and I think that that is where my faith was lacking. So now my prayer is: “God, increase my faith, so that I will be totally dependent on you and trust fully in who you are, the power you have, and what you are going to do.”

Any thoughts on faith? Or even thoughts on my struggles? I am welcome to any kind of discussion